la_belle_rogue | Backdated 4th wall

Entry tags:

Backdated 4th wall

[And Rogue's day is very suddenly ruined. She's so mad she could explode. But she doesn't. She squashes it down hard so that when she talks, it has to be through gritted teeth.]

Anyone who's been talkin' ta "me" today up until now, unless it was a private chat or face ta face, it wasn't me. Someone decided ta stick her nose in all over the place, and didn't even bother ta show her sorry hide ta me herself.

Ignore anythin' she told any of ya.

[She's soooo angry.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thank you.

[ It's breathed out, grateful and warm and shaky all at once. ]

You're older than I was when she was born, you know.

Ah don't know if Ah should say thanks or be offended by that.

[She's teasing, very very gently teasing. Trying to give him a little something lighter than what he's dealing with.]

[ That gets a small, but genuine laugh out of him. ]

We weren't old enough. we were barely more than children ourselves.

[Good. That's much better. Even a small laugh is better than a mountain of pain.]

Y'were happy and in love. That's what matters.

That's what people say. We were also very poor. I wanted better for my family, but...I wouldn't have traded her for the world.

That's the way it should be.

[They're such meager words, but there's not much else to say. They're small but they're the right words.]

Is it? I think she heard more algebra than fairy tales. I was always up when she'd start to fuss, I didn't want her to wake her mother, so I'd hold her, read to her from whatever I was studying at the time, she'd fall asleep in my arms.

[ He's not aware of the small smile, or the far away look in his eyes. ]

Some times it was the only time I'd see her. I worked until sundown, she was often asleep by the time I got home. I always felt I should have been home more.

[Her own smile, soft and moved, she's very aware of
Her heart aches for him and his loss, but she's also glad that he could have the moment with his child. Something to add to those precious memories. ]

It's not the content of the book, but that y'were there, the one that soothed her when she needed it. Ya did the best ya knew how. And she knew ya loved her.

[ He looks over at her.]

It wasn't enough. My child died, and that's my fault.

[She takes that in, consideringly.]

Ah've had mah fair share of things ta lay at yer feet, Erik, but if you're expectin' this t'be one of 'em, ya came ta the wrong gal.

[ He smiles, but it's weak. ]

I lost my temper. I threatened someone. Had I not, that entire night wouldn't have happened. I'm not the cause of the mob that gathered, I'm not responsible for the KGB that would rather an innocent child die because of who her parents are, but if I hadn't lost my temper, it wouldn't have happened. As many times as others lectured me on my temper, as much damage as it's caused...I shouldn't have allowed myself to become so angry.

[ He's actually trying to take responsibility for the fault that is his, in this case, but as almost always, he goes too far. ]

[The problem is, he's a parent. And all parents, that really love their children, would always take the blame to the extreme places.]

Ya couldn't have known.

[It's all she can say, because that's all there is. He couldn't have known. If he had, things might have been drastically different.]

[ They will, and he's not an exception. ]

I knew better than to lose my temper like that. I put my pride above what was best for my family. And I kept doing that.

[ If he had, he'd have taken them and fled, would have done anything to keep them safe. He never wanted to have his children grow up in fear. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Backdated 4th wall

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

Re: [Private]

[Private]

Re: [Private]

[Private]

Re: [Private]

[Private]

[Private]