[Video]

[la_belle_rogue]

[Rogue doesn't look happen when she turns on the feed. In fact, she seems grim and pensive. She's sitting at the island in her kitchen, arms folded across the counter top, leaning over them heavily. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she starts speaking.]

Ah wanna talk about choices for a minute. This place is very unique, in that it offers up an option that should be the hard choice, and makes it look like the easy choice.

Killin' someone should never be considered the right thing to do. Sometimes it's the necessary thing. Sometimes it's the only thing we can do, when faced with an extreme situation. Life or death. Kill or be killed. But the Barge warps that into an easy go to and it shouldn't be. Not every option is life or death, kill or be killed.

Sometimes we find ourselves between rocks and hard places. And in those times our choices are either bad or worse. But just because a choice might not be a good one, doesn't mean that it's not the better one. Just because a choice leaves a mess behind, doesn't mean it's not better than the alternative.

Now before ya'll start in on how death isn't permanent here, let me just say this: Ah. Don't. Care. Wardens are here ta help people get their lives back, and actin' cavalier 'bout takin' someone's life is pretty counter productive ta that, from where Ah'm standin'.

We've got a lot of extraordinary people here, who can do amazin' things, but we have become frighteningly dependent on one lone miracle. We're treatin' death like a time out. Death should be the hardest choice we make, no matter what world we're from, no matter how many reset buttons the Admiral is willin' ta press for us. It never should be treated lightly. Even in a place where it doesn't stick. And we certainly shouldn't get angry at someone when they choose not ta take a life, no matter what mess comes with that choice. Don't ya see how backwards this is? And we've been doin' it for a long time here. Ah imagine a lot longer than Ah've been around, and Ah can honestly say Ah'm ashamed for not payin' attention t'it sooner and speakin' up about it before now.

[She shakes her head, sits back. What else can she say on this?]

That's all Ah've got ta say.

Comments

[private/spam]

[to_dust]

There are therapists here, too. And ... there's the God of your family.

I may be disillusioned with the god behind my church, but that doesn't mean the rituals and meditations can't still bring me peace. I could....

Well, not minister to you. But lead you in prayer. If it would help.

[to_dust]

Once I was a demon. My head was full of the voices of those I killed, and the dead of a planet that had turned itself into hell.

I chose to die.

And here I am. And I still believe in my choice.

[la_belle_rogue]

Ah guess no one can until they've been there. Ah'd rather a chance the fix things than no chance at all. And Ah'm ashamed how we as a whole lean on the Admiral so much ta fix it for us.

[la_belle_rogue]

Ah won't discount that choice. But that was in a world where ya knew the consequence ta that action was permanent. Here, we've taken it for granted that death should be more important than what we've made it. We've turned it into an etch-i-sketch. We mess up a line, just shake and start over.

[la_belle_rogue]

What if, one day, we're all stuck here on this boat and ya "knock someone's head off" and suddenly, they don't get over it?

[to_dust]

Death will always have meaning to me. And to me, it's more humane than...

alternatives.

[americasdirtiest]

Has that ever happened before? [It's not an unfair point, though. He's not looking to be a killer.]

[la_belle_rogue]

Ah'm sorry, darlin', Ah'll never agree that sparin's someone's life wrong. This is a mess, but it can be cleaned up. But as offensive as this is t'ya, Ah feel the same about casual killin'. And it's done in situations that wouldn't result in somethin' as drastic as changin' someone's personality without their consent.

[la_belle_rogue]

It's happened on the Mirror Barge. Which means it can happen here too.

[americasdirtiest]

The what now?

[to_dust]

You don't believe I'm arguing that killing is always the right choice, do you?

But there is a line. My line. Where sparing them to live broken in a convenient way is wrong.

[la_belle_rogue]

Oh right, sorry. You're new. The Barge has a mirror opposite reality. They exist along side each other. A warden died over there on a previous visit and is permanently dead. His counterpart is still alive here.

[americasdirtiest]

[A pause, as he tries to work this new thing into his understanding of the place.]

...How do you know he's still dead?

[youwill]

Is that all you have to say.

[He's furious. What he portrays now is calm anger, civil and careful. That is the veil. The reality is an anger so deep he has to struggle to keep his heart rate even.]

[la_belle_rogue]

Of course not. Ah understand where you're comin' from on this. How ya feel about it isn't wrong. But as ya just said, that's you're line. Mah line is when all options are removed, all hope for change, for betterment gets thrown out the window, by someone else callin' the shots.

For you, yer line is strong and clear, and ya'd never choose that path if the results would be somethin' like this particular example. But for me, death is the end of hope. And hope is everythin' ta me. Ah've begged for the life of mah enemies, who would kill me if they had the chance. Sometimes worse.

Ah'm not tryin' ta convince ya that you're wrong and Ah'm right. But Ah will say that bein' a warden, Ah'd expect wardens ta try ta choose hope every time. Until that option doesn't exist anymore.

[la_belle_rogue]

The deathtoll was workin' and he'd been gone for a week, while everyone else got up.

[deshabille]

Have you considered the possibility that someone might prefer death to indignity?

[to_dust]

And I would pray that if a warden ever had the choice between killing me or 'fixing' me, they don't think like you.

[americasdirtiest]

But how do you know he's still dead now?

[la_belle_rogue]

[She made that pretty clear. But she'll be polite. This is a touchy subject, and she knows she's on the less screamingly offended side. But she has a unique perspective here as well. Patience, civility, is required if she's to be listened to at all.]

Ah'd like ta think someone as intelligent as you would understand that Ah am, in fact, talkin' about a larger problem than just yer particular example, Doctor.

[youwill]

Of course. But I hope you would not try to deny that my particular example gave fuel to this fire.

[It helps, in a way, to be reminded that others are just as capable of observing etiquette. But he has been pushed so far.]

[video]

[theresalwayshope]

...I'm new here. I don't know if I'm qualified to weigh in on this? But I...died as a result of the breach. Someone killed me, under the influence of that gas on the second level, and someone I love would have been killed if I hadn't stepped in. It was my first time.

...and not knowing what was on the other side...not really, not having died before...it was a very easy decision for me to make. The choice to die.

In my normal life, I'm a hunter. I have to make those choices: to kill or not to kill. I guess I have to make those choices here, too. I do agree that the decision to take a life should never be made lightly...but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be easy.

The man who killed me meant to kill one of my best friends. If I had time? My murderer would be death tolling right now instead of me. And it would have been the easiest thing in the world for me to do.

I can see where the reset button you mentioned might make it easy for some to kill? But...I guess I just wanted to point out that some people here will never take that free pass into consideration. In my case? It's three individuals on this ship I decided to kill for, to die for, long before any of us got here.

If I kill for them? I kill assuming they won't wake up...and when I die to protect them, I do so believing it's the end for me.

And either way, the choice is always easy.

[video]

[notsoneedy]

Do you really think that? About it being the hardest choice?

[Needy doesn't give a damn about what happened to Hannibal, she doesn't have an opinion on it or know any of the people involved. But on killing in general; this she has questions and thoughts.]

[la_belle_rogue]

Ah wouldn't, because yer example put it right in front of me, whereas before Ah was blithely acceptin' of the status quo. What happened t'ya wasn't a good thing. However, when it comes down ta brass tacks, even though y'were puttin' someone's life in danger, they chose not ta fight fire with fire. And there was sincere regret as ta the consequences of that action, instead of shruggin' it off as just desserts and movin' on. Which is how we've been treatin' the death toll.

[youwill]

He fought fire with gasoline. And while you are keen to hold onto his sincere regret, you have made no mention of the fact that he told me to apologize in the most public way possible, and I did. Because he told me to.

His guilty conscious drove him to contrition, but only after a parting shot. Only after he made sure that when I was myself again, I would "remember what guilt feels like."

[He's quoting directly. He's scoured that post since coming back to himself.]