[Video]

[la_belle_rogue]

[Rogue doesn't look happen when she turns on the feed. In fact, she seems grim and pensive. She's sitting at the island in her kitchen, arms folded across the counter top, leaning over them heavily. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she starts speaking.]

Ah wanna talk about choices for a minute. This place is very unique, in that it offers up an option that should be the hard choice, and makes it look like the easy choice.

Killin' someone should never be considered the right thing to do. Sometimes it's the necessary thing. Sometimes it's the only thing we can do, when faced with an extreme situation. Life or death. Kill or be killed. But the Barge warps that into an easy go to and it shouldn't be. Not every option is life or death, kill or be killed.

Sometimes we find ourselves between rocks and hard places. And in those times our choices are either bad or worse. But just because a choice might not be a good one, doesn't mean that it's not the better one. Just because a choice leaves a mess behind, doesn't mean it's not better than the alternative.

Now before ya'll start in on how death isn't permanent here, let me just say this: Ah. Don't. Care. Wardens are here ta help people get their lives back, and actin' cavalier 'bout takin' someone's life is pretty counter productive ta that, from where Ah'm standin'.

We've got a lot of extraordinary people here, who can do amazin' things, but we have become frighteningly dependent on one lone miracle. We're treatin' death like a time out. Death should be the hardest choice we make, no matter what world we're from, no matter how many reset buttons the Admiral is willin' ta press for us. It never should be treated lightly. Even in a place where it doesn't stick. And we certainly shouldn't get angry at someone when they choose not ta take a life, no matter what mess comes with that choice. Don't ya see how backwards this is? And we've been doin' it for a long time here. Ah imagine a lot longer than Ah've been around, and Ah can honestly say Ah'm ashamed for not payin' attention t'it sooner and speakin' up about it before now.

[She shakes her head, sits back. What else can she say on this?]

That's all Ah've got ta say.

Comments

[voice, private]

[hearrrtofgold]

And you had to kill him?

[Duke doesn't sound condemnatory. Nor does he sound forgiving, just reflective.]

[voice, private]

[theresalwayshope]

My parents wanted me to, but I didn't.

So my father nearly did it. Later...he only spared him because he hadn't hurt anyone.

And because I begged...and because I swore I'd never see him again. When my mother found out we were dating in secret, she tried to kill him, too. Would have, if an Alpha hadn't bitten her.

[voice, private]

[hearrrtofgold]

Well, you made the right decision. Both you and your father did. That is assuming you don't regret letting him live, which is the impression I got.

You didn't have to kill her, right?

[voice, private]

[theresalwayshope]

Kill my mother? No, I didn't.

She killed herself after she was bitten, rather than let herself turn. All part of the Code.

[voice, private]

[hearrrtofgold]

Oh, there's a Code.

[The "fuck that" is entirely implied.]

[voice, private]

[theresalwayshope]

There is...was. We hunt those who hunt us.

...my grandfather took that Code very seriously. So did my mother and father. After she died, Gerard...my grandfather...worked very hard to make sure I dealt with my grief by getting good and angry. The women in my family lead, you see, and he wanted me to lead them in a very...specific direction.

[voice, private]

[hearrrtofgold]

Makes sense on the outside.

That doesn't sound like you leading at all. Just him.

[voice, private]

[theresalwayshope]

It was...and I did some pretty unspeakable things while that man was...playing with my brain. I hurt a lot of people...people I knew, other kids, and I had fun doing it.

Then Gerard threatened to kill me if my boyfriend didn't bring him an Alpha and force him to give up the Bite. He...figured out how to stop him, and I broke up with my boyfriend...with Scott. There was just too much between us after that, you know?

There was...another guy, sort of, but I had to leave him behind back home. I don't even know for sure if he's alive. I'm just...here.

[She pauses for a long moment, and she huffs out a quiet, bitter laugh.]

Playing in the Games, with an entire band of Rues and Prims to look after...and not a Peeta or Gale in sight.

[voice, private]

[hearrrtofgold]

Wait. Was he brainwashing you all cult-like, or was he really inside your mind changing things around? [Either way, Duke's just added another name to his ass-kicking list. Duke doesn't know what constitutes an Alpha or how the Bite works, but he understands enough to realize how thoroughly fucked this all is.]

There's no Prim for you back home?

Maybe you can manage a Haymitch.

[voice, private]

[theresalwayshope]

The former. The night my mother killed herself, the same night...he gave me her actual suicide note. The one that explained why she really died, I had to burn it after I read it because the official story was a history of depression.

He made me think I was avenging her...and all I was doing was fighting his battles.

...uhm...but no, no real Prim back home. I'm an only child. Just my friends, people I care about. I guess maybe you could call my dad Haymitch, minus the booze.

I don't know. I think maybe you might be my Haymitch. Or at the very least, my Finnick.