[Video]

[la_belle_rogue]

[Rogue doesn't look happen when she turns on the feed. In fact, she seems grim and pensive. She's sitting at the island in her kitchen, arms folded across the counter top, leaning over them heavily. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she starts speaking.]

Ah wanna talk about choices for a minute. This place is very unique, in that it offers up an option that should be the hard choice, and makes it look like the easy choice.

Killin' someone should never be considered the right thing to do. Sometimes it's the necessary thing. Sometimes it's the only thing we can do, when faced with an extreme situation. Life or death. Kill or be killed. But the Barge warps that into an easy go to and it shouldn't be. Not every option is life or death, kill or be killed.

Sometimes we find ourselves between rocks and hard places. And in those times our choices are either bad or worse. But just because a choice might not be a good one, doesn't mean that it's not the better one. Just because a choice leaves a mess behind, doesn't mean it's not better than the alternative.

Now before ya'll start in on how death isn't permanent here, let me just say this: Ah. Don't. Care. Wardens are here ta help people get their lives back, and actin' cavalier 'bout takin' someone's life is pretty counter productive ta that, from where Ah'm standin'.

We've got a lot of extraordinary people here, who can do amazin' things, but we have become frighteningly dependent on one lone miracle. We're treatin' death like a time out. Death should be the hardest choice we make, no matter what world we're from, no matter how many reset buttons the Admiral is willin' ta press for us. It never should be treated lightly. Even in a place where it doesn't stick. And we certainly shouldn't get angry at someone when they choose not ta take a life, no matter what mess comes with that choice. Don't ya see how backwards this is? And we've been doin' it for a long time here. Ah imagine a lot longer than Ah've been around, and Ah can honestly say Ah'm ashamed for not payin' attention t'it sooner and speakin' up about it before now.

[She shakes her head, sits back. What else can she say on this?]

That's all Ah've got ta say.

Comments

[godsays]

Yes, you do. You do, like a microscope.

Maybe now you understand what it is when you try to make someone else in your image.

[youwill]

[There. He sees his path, and all at once it becomes easier to breathe evenly.]

If you wish me to understand powerlessness, Zane, then you know the method. You'll have ample time to convince others that spending the rest of my life having my will taken away is justice.

[godsays]

The Barge isn't about justice! That's why I've stayed away from you!

[youwill]

Not far enough that you can't enjoy my torment. Perhaps Arthas was right, and Dillon should improve the whole of the ship.

[godsays]

That would be pointless. You don't get it. I think you should experience that. You, exactly, for thinking you can remake everyone to suit you. For thinking it's beautiful, or fun.

If I didn't stay away from you, I would just want to kill you. Over and over again. Not because I think you should experience it. Because I would like it.

[youwill]

And this is the manner of man meant to redeem us.

Explain how that is so different from what you believe I do.

[godsays]

I know to stop myself.

[youwill]

You know to control yourself.

Something that was removed from both of us during the event.

[godsays]

I know I should control myself. Because it's right.

[private]

[routemistress]

Zane.

[private]

[godsays]

No.

[private]

[routemistress]

Don't get in a public argument with 'im, for fuck's sake. It's like feeding 'im.

[private]

[godsays]

This isn't your business.

[youwill]

But you didn't know that when you killed girl in the Joker's funhouse. I didn't know it when I killed others there.

Tell me again what makes us different here.

[godsays]

You would still kill if you thought you could get away with it.

[youwill]

Not because I like it. Not because I could get away with it, over and over again.

You have failed to understand me at every turn, yet you would judge yourself better. How many more floods will it take, before you no longer remember how to control yourself?

[godsays]

I am better than you. It's not about control. It's empathy.

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

I would like it, too. Or torturing him, anyway. Creatively. [She's thought about it.]

I very nearly did it to another Inmate, once.

Private

[godsays]

What stopped you?

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her lips twitch into something like a smile.] Jason went and did it without me.

I don't think it was wrong, what I was feeling. Hatred, vengeance - they're ugly, but they're just as human as kindness and compassion. They can be justified.

But it wasn't going to change anything, or help anyone. If anything, it would stop me from helping people. It wasn't worth it.

Private

[godsays]

...yes.

[ He knows that, all of that. Maybe he's never thought it exactly before, but he knows - rage is real, and love is real, and it's all right to have both.

He's so alone. Afraid of what the flood made him. Hurting and weak, and she's so good at understanding him. ]

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her smile changes into something warmer, something softer.]

You're a good man, Zane. You have worked damn hard to be a good man. Don't let him make you doubt that.

Private

[godsays]

He didn't.

I did.

[ He's just taking it out on Hannibal. He's just striking at someone he knows deserves to be hurt. ]

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

Because the Joker's gas brought out the worst in you? [Her tone is gentle, but chiding.] That's what it's meant to do, Zane.

Private

[godsays]

You don't understand.

I was trying to forget how good it felt. Now it's all back again. I thought if I could just practice being good all the time then it might get easier.

It's not easier!